NEW WORDS FOR THE TWENTYFIRST CENTURY LEXICON, COURTESY OF THE WHITE HOUSE





To commemmorate the stroke of genius that was the appointment of a self appointed Arabian horse expert to run the Federal government's emergency response agency, a man who remains under "consulting contract" to the agency two months after the crushing weight of his own very public unveiling as a twit forced his resignation, two new words have made it to the lexicon, as follows:

"Brownify" (var. "Brownification") v. To take a competently run agency or bureau of the Federal Government, purge it of all of the effective people in management positions, and liberally replace them with sycophantic partisan hacks. (see FEMA and the Coroporation for Public Broadcasting)

"Browniegotiate" (var. Browniegotiation) v. To restructure an employment relationship whereby publicly displayed gross incompetence necessitates a bureaucrat's resignation, only to be supplanted by a month to month "consulting agreement" at the same pay for so long as is necessary out of fear that media might "pry" embarrassing details from the shamed bureaucrat.

NO YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO DO THIS IN DECEMBER




But it sure made October memorable and worth another look

HOW MANY MIRACLES MAKE A DESTINY?




Figure it out, all three of you loyal readers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go Charmed BRUINS GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TiME TO GET THE MONKEY OFF THE BACK




No more Palo Alto Heartaches, Bruins. Get it done today in Robber Baron land!!!!!
KILL THIS TREE!!!!!!

OVERHEARD AT GAME FOUR







"But, Bar . . "

"Don't you 'But, Bar' me! This is all YOUR Fault! You've been hanging around that Clinton too much"

"But Bar, that's precisely what I was trying to say. This, like everything else, Is all Clinton's fault, too"

Yes, YES YESSSSSS!!! THAT MIGHT STICK TOO BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"And another thing, I hope the next hurricane hits that stupid library in Arkansas. Call "W" and tell him if the next one's headed to Arkansas he should put Brownie back in charge at FEMA"

A VISIT FROM SAINT FITZ-OLIS
Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

(thanks to Americablog and Atrios for the photoshop inspiration!)



‘Twas the Night before Fitzmas
and at the White House
All the staffers were shredding
Down to the last louse

The low-levels cowered
By the hallway and stared
And they wondered aloud
Would the Marshalls come there?

And Karl he shuddered
Ol’ Scooter to boot
As each contemplated
an orange jumpsuit

When out in the Pressroom
There arose such a clatter
While Scotty just stammered
Not quelling the laughter

For there was no Guckert
No Judy, no Brit
To bail out poor Scotty
Who cried out “oh Sh*t”

When what
to all wondering eyes did appear
But a dogged attorney
Too temperate for beer

He was wearing blue pinstripes
And a plain boring tie
But he walked resolutely
With a gleam in his eye.

A cadre of deputies
Mimicked his gait
And he called out to each
To deliver a fate

“now Nelson, get Libby”
and “Whitman grab Rove”
“But leave for me Cheney,’
having finished his probe.


He spoke no more words
But went straight to his work
And handcuffed the trio,
Then turned toward Mr. Smirk

And pointing a finger
In George’s direction
He said “I’ll be back here for you
By the midterm elections”

And I heard him exclaim
As the vans drove out of sight
“Good Government for all
was reborn here tonight.”

MAY GOD WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS






Rosa Parks, a lady with the courage to "just say no" long before Nancy Reagan made the phrase a corny cliche,
has left the planet. She was a regular person thrust into the limelight by her quiet resoluteness, her steadfast refusal to accept things as "the way they are" and sit down for equality. God Bless you and keep you. May God send, to those of us left behind, thousands more like you - people who are willing to stand for an ideal, and rally against blind hatred and prejudice and all of the stupid ways that human kind mistreats one another.

WILL SOMEBODY DIG UP HUNTLEY AND BRINKLEY, PLEASE?




Okay, LOST had gotten out of the habit, probably the elections of 2004 were the last straw, of watching local "network affiliate" news on a daily basis. Partially this was disgust over the infotainment that had crept in like crabgrass, only to overwhelm the entire blooming broadcast of information. Remember the days when, if you wanted to know who the Hell in Hollywood was sleeping with whom, you had to reach across the checkout stand and grab one of those embarrassing ragazines, in front of the whole world? Not anymore, just tune in at 5, 6 and 11, and you'll get Brad and Jen, Jacko, MJ, OJ, JLo, 50cent and JEEZ I feel like I'm in acronickname HELL!!!!

But I digress. Tonight, the local network took the cake. They have long adopted a "Viewer's poll" format, whereby the public is asked some burning question of the day, and then they post the results from votes cast on the internet.

Tonight's installment was "What kind of disaster would you prefer to face," and the voters had to choose from Hurricane, Earthquake, Flood, or Tornado. Sorry, Two terms of President Cheney was not one of the disaster choices listed. Anyway, Earthquake won in a landslide (pun premeditated), and I caught myself sliding further down the ramp of incredulity.

What, do people think that life is like some Elvis Costello concert, with his Incredible Spinning Songbook. Spin the wheel and Elvis'll play whatever comes up? Kind of like, well we think we know You're up there, God, so if You're thinking about it, we'd be just peachy with an earthquake rather than some of that other stuff. But please, nothing over 7 on Richter's scale, please.

Is this what TV news has become??? I want my level of awareness back! Oh, wait, gotta go, Access Hollywood is about to start and tell me all the intimate details about people I've no interest in, and I've got to go plug in now!!!!!!!!!!!

TWO DREWS WALK INTO A BOWL, SEE . . .




Yep, Mo still starred. He got nearly 300 total yards of offense, and scored a couple of TD's. But this week something needed to be said for that other Drew on the team. Olson's his last name. 11 TD passes in the past 2 weeks. A school record. Not even 5 interceptions on the whole season yet. Its too early to start talking about that first week in December but if things keep going the way they are . . .






. . . will this be the week when Justice finally makes an appearance on the menu at the White House Mess? Will the indictment hatchet fall on Libby (seems inevitable at this point, the snake); how about Rove? (not as certain, but deservingly delicious? Hoo boy!; is there enough meat on these bones to choke Cheney off, too? By the snakeoil way that Fox and friends are trying to respond to these looming developments - first with the fell flat "Criminalization of Politics' last week, to this week's "the technicality of perjury" uttered by reptilian Kristol and Senator Hutchinson on the Sunday snoozers. Uh, partisan parrots, that would be the same perjury that you all shoved down Clinton's throat after he . . . oh well not gonna go there, this is a family blog, But there's been an intractable irony about all of the things seen as morally outrageous that were attributed to Clinton - factual or not - and the number of equally congruent shortcomings and ethical lapses depositable at the feet of GW Bush that the cheese sandwich partisans who yelled at Clinton so loudly about simply looked the other way and whistled a happy tune. I think it was "Texas Texas uber alles" if I am not mistaken.

Let me say it for you. Exposing a CIA agent to make political payback and send a message to other would be whistleblowers is despicable. Lying about it afterwards is felony stupid and shortsighted, especially by this bunch who all lived through Watergate, and saw first hand how something bad (a really stupid break-in) became impeachable (by lying about it). Maybe Republican leadership really is stupid.

HOMECOMING OF ANOTHER STRIPE?

LOST notes that today is Bruin Homecoming. Like so many times in the past, LOST ain't gonna be there. Yeah, we could use the Dad-esque excuse "It's too far to drive, I've got the best seat in the house" and all that, but truth be told, LOST expected to be gearing up for a week long engagement today, which was moved only last week by two weeks. So, Coulda, shoulda, woulda, maybe.


This is also homecoming for another Bruin, of sorts. When he steps on the Rose Bowl turf today, Matt Moore will be starting quarterback - but not for the team he originally held that position for, when he first left high school. Moore, you see, lost his starting job with the Bruins in 2003, when a first year coach decided that his understudy, a guy named Olson, had played well enough not to be denied the chance to keep the job, even after an injured Moore returned to full strength. Is this a chance for payback? According to Moore's public comments, not at all, doesn't even enter into the picture. The problem is that public comments don't mean squat.

LOST remembers when his late father - a week after meeting the woman who would become Mrs. LOST (twenty plus years ago) stared LOST in the face and said "Son, I pray every night you'll become a priest" and LOST's mom quickly added, "Oh don't worry about that, I pray that you'll be HAPPY." LOST has always believed that Mom's translation into real world verbiage was "Son, I'm praying TWICE AS HARD AS DAD that You'll become a priest." So, by way of that monumental digression, I don't exactly trust Matt Moore when he says no big deal. To b*stardize Shakespeare, "methinks he doth protest too little."

Look for another toughie for the little Bears. Hitting 7-0 would wake the echoes of the McNown era, without a doubt. Come on Mo. Come on Drew. Come on rag tag Defense. Win it for the faithful, even the lazy faithful who wouldn't drive that far today!!1

DELAY MUG SHOTS

For my friend CAMOON. Do I win the prize or don't I? Credit to "John in DC" from www.americablog.blogspot.com for the B&W shot. It's a keeper!!!

THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE MEN, WORKING ON THE CHAIN GAAAYANG . . .






Nope, this is not a working poster for the sequel to the George Clooney pic based on Homer's Odyssey, although "Oh Brother, go F**k Yourself" has a nice ring to it, and kinda fits within this crowd, now doesn't it?

No, this is simply a reminder of that old soulful Sam Cooke song reflected in the title, with a bit of whimsical imagination tossed in for good measure. DeLay is supposed to be "booked" tomorrow in Texas, Rove has gone into hiding as he awaits the news of his indictment for treasonous behavior disguised as politics. And no less a stodgy, conservative source as US News and World Report - practically the Weekly Standard before there was a Weekly Standard, is reporting that Cheney resignation rumors are abundant inside the beltway. Highballs anyone? How 'bout you, chimpy?

THERE'S A SNITCH IN THE WHITE HOUSE!!!



"And he's the one that, uh, doesn't, ahem, look like us. Yeah, he's the pale, well-fed looking fellow. No, NOT ME YOU IDIOTS! IT'S HIM!!!!!"

NEVER RUN OUT OF GAS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE





LOST's brother, the better traveled fellow that he is, has ALWAYS bemoaned the desolateness of Pullman, Washington. By all accounts, it is the land that the Thomas Brothers (Rand AND McNally) forgot. It is a two hour drive from the burgeoning metropolis of Spokane, Washington, and probably one hell of a place to send your kids to school. Especially if they are part of the WItness Protection Program. But like anyone will tell you about a long trip, stock up on your supplies for the journey, cause its a bad thing to run short on necessary stuff in the tulies.

Well, that's exactly what happened Saturday Night, but not to the team you might think it would have. Yep, the fabled Bruins came boppin down that little country road, into a place where they'd last one when this current crop of Bruins was in middle school, and a guy named McNown was still playing high school ball. They were coming off a most thrilling win over what seemed to be a solid team, the well-coached California Golden Bears. They were coming in undefeated, despite having a very thin, downright porous defensive front. They were facing a Cougar team motivated, as usual, by the presence of a number of Southern California area players passed over by the $C's and the UCLA's of the world for one reason or another, even though they had all played with and against each other at the level below. They were coming in to face a running back who last year had slashed them up so effectively that he should've been called Popeil. Or maybe Simpson. And as the game started, it looked like Jerome Harrison was going to perform more cardio-ectomy on the Bruins again this year. By the dawn of quarter number 2, it was 21-0, and forget the ropes, the Bruins were on the deck. gasping for anything. Thats when the Drewsome went to work. As in Maurice and Olson. Chip chip, slash and burn. The lead was cut to 28-21, then the Cougars managed 10 third quarter points, and all looked lost. It turns out that what was lost was the Cougars' reserve. The Bruins, as they've done all year, outscored the Cougars 17-0 in the fourth quarter, sending the game into overtime, where the Bruins slowed the Cougar offense, holding them to a field goal, and then took the ball on offense and kept handing it to Maurice Drew. Bam, bam, bam, Touchdown, and that's the way you say undefeated.

They say that great teams find a way to win. This is a good team, to be sure. It would be great if they could find some more hitters on the defensive front. The devil is still holding court across town, and lurks down the road.

DON'T HURT YOURSELF



It would be funny, okay, well it IS STILL funny. Here's the guy who doesn't listen or care about polls - he tells us that nearly every chance he gets - showing up in the Gulf for the 8th time since he booted the Katrina ball, and this time he's decked out like Bob the Builder. You can almost hear him "see, this'll make 'em forget about that guitar playin' photo while them black people were drownin' heh heh heh"

Guess again George. "Plummeting" is the word best used to describe your standing with the people in this country. Your "brain" is hiding under the table, cowering in the face of possible indictment. Your insipid choice for Supreme Court justice has resonated with few beyond yourself and your shrinking cabal of toadies the scariest of tele-fascimentalists. Consumer prices just took their biggest jump since the last year of the Carter Administration. Winter heating costs are conservatively estimated to be jumping 30% this Winter, but you're not gonna say a word to your base about it, 'cause this is what they bought and paid for when they became "Pioneers" and "Rangers." And you're running around telling people that the lesson we learned from Vietnam is never cut and run. No wonder 2,000 dead means squat to you. We've still got 56,000 more to really drive your lesson home, now, don't we?

Bill Maher said it best, Mr. President, next time you have a dress up photo op, you have to be a cop or an Indian. You've already been a sailor, a biker, and now a construction worker. You're only two "Village People' away from completing the whole set.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU ORDINARY GENIUS



95 years old, out of coaching for 30 and nobody's ever come close to your accomplishments on the court. A graciousness and a poise that few possess. A real penchant for humility amidst such greatness, too. Here's one of many instances where you made a young person's day, with a keepsake that he'll never forget. Happy birthday coach Wooden.

IF AN UNMASKED FRAUD FALLS IN THE POLLS FOREST DOES HE SQUEAL ON THE WAY DOWN?

WHAT IF THEY GAVE A COMPLETELY REHEARSED ABSOLUTELY PHONY IMPROMPTU CONVERSATION WITH THE TROOPS AND NOBODY LISTENED?



Its a few minutes before dawn in America. This is an America that you may recognize from a few short years ago. The America that is waking up actually had a press with a spine, that didn't kowtow to what one guy or one party wanted them to do or say. This America had people who really critically thought about their leadership beyond the parrot-like repetition of five syllable max slogans, and was unafraid to call BUllSH*t on things and leaders when their crookedness flopped out from underneath their overcoats like some brown bagged bottle of cheap fortified wine. This America had people who passionately cared about the future for their children, rather than tossing all care about the future to the wind. This America spoke up rather than bleat to the beat. This America "saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw War and tried to stop it." This America isn't gonna hit the snooze button, roll back over and into the great Rovian void again. The faux terror alerts aren't working anymore. The staging cr*p is being called what it is. The people are speaking out and voicing their frustrations - not in unison, not yet. But its coming. And the too long National neo-Con nightmare is on the slippery slope of sinking into oblivion, the 21st Century's answer to Warren Harding, the personnification of Nostalgia for Nixon. Some of these sleazy folks are going to wind up Club Fed for an extended period, For some of them, Club Gitmo would be too lenient. Wakey wakey brothers and sisters. The time to toss the bums is almost here.

SYCOPHANTASTIC

The New York Times reports today that Harriet Miers was a frequent correspondent to then Governor Bush. Their written exchanges included such hard-hitting and profound topics as parenting:

"Hopefully Jenna and Barbara recognize that their parents are 'cool' - as do the rest of us . . .All I hear is how great you and Laura are doing . . . Texas is blessed."

Legal prowess (this one from the Prez):

"When it comes to cross-examination, Harriet can fillet better than Mrs. Paul. I know first-hand. She is my lawyer."

And of course, the vagaries of aging:

"You are the best governor ever - deserving of great respect . . . Texas is blessed." which garnered this response from the Gov.: "I appreciate your friendship and candor - never hold back your sage advice."


It occurs to me in reading all of this that Harriet Miers is the Anti-Ivins. The only possible ray of hope is that the vast majority of the amen corner shouters are truly overwrought by her selection, and that gives some - perhaps the only - cause for hope.



(" [sigh] ohhh, isn't he so dreamy?")

IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE SOMEWHERE

Perhaps the 1960's are not the tumultuous times that they were for us. Perhaps the angels of our better nature recognized and heeded the words of President Eishenhower, and began to view the defense business with some skepticism and distrust. Perhaps the second term of President Kennedy resulted in at first a gradual, then an accelerated pull out from Vietnam. Perhaps an enlightened America recognized the long term harm done to our interests in the Gulf by propping up despots, and so it did not happen . . . imagine the Great Society programs fully funded and successful, and that the generation of real toil and effort yielded the abundant harvest of a truly colorblind society. Alas, that is off, far far away.



As a second hand witness to almost real time gun violence in the latter half of the twentieth century, LOST has awful memories of the deaths of Martin Luther King, Senator Robert F. Kennedy, Congressman Leo Ryan, Mayor George Moscone, Supervisor Harvey Milk, and the near killing of Pope John Paul II. Included with these senseless acts which deprived our country and our world with people whose principal shortcoming was in wanting to serve the public and better society, is the senseless killing of John Lennon. He was a musical genius, and an icon for a generation. He was also a sarcastic man with his own set of baggage to be sure. Had he not met up with Mark David Chapman he would have turned 65 today.

God Bless you and save you, John Lennon.

MO DREW MOJO MEANS FIVE-O




No way he would allow them to lose, no way. He returned punts, he took handoffs. He caught passes.
I thought he was going to take snaps at middle guard, but Maurice Drew piled up yards and 5 TDs to lead the Bruins over the Berkeley Bears. Great crowd at the Arroyo last evening. Looked like an $C crowd but with noticeably fewer obnoxious jerks in attendance. And Coach Dorrell showed a sneaky devious side with one of the best fake punts in years, with all the Bruin faithful playing along by booing loudly when the punt team came out on 4th and 2 in the 4th quarter, down by 12 points. No voice left today, that's for sure.

OKAY COACH, SOMEBODY NEEDS AN EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT






Okay, Coach Dorrell - sorry I can't call you Karl anymore (that name's been tainted for[Rove]ever) - I'm sure I don't have to tell you that Saturday is the next biggest game in your head coaching career. Beat these 'olden Bears, and, well, you're in the two position gunning for number 1. Beat a top ten team, and your bunch will deserve that kind of status, too. Show up these guys with their big bad running backs and they're just okay passer and their li'l genius coach, and you'll deserve mention in the same sentence with the Conference's best and brightest.

But you'll also give the best early 95th birthday present that a Bruin could ever ask for. October 14, 2005, the Wizard takes another step toward the century mark. Happy Birthday (early) Coach Wooden. How 'bout you say a few encouraging words to the guys in the pads this Saturday, if Coach D doesn't mind? All help would be appreciated. You always did know what to say. The team could use whatever leftover magic's in that old rolled up program of yours.

TELL ME LIES, TELL ME SWEET LITTLE LIES




From the Prez' "MAJOR POLICY SPEECH" today:

"At the time of our Fallujah operations 11 months ago, there were only a few Iraqi army battalions in combat. Today there are more than 80 Iraqi army battalions fighting the insurgency alongside our forces. Progress isn't easy, but it is steady."

General Abizaid, the field commander of U.S. (oops, I mean "CO A LITION") Forces in Iraq, responding to Senator McCain's question at last week's Armed Services Commitee Hearing of how many fully trained Iraqi Battalions now exist, given that there were 3 last year: "I believe that number is ONE"

Its one nugget, tucked away in a forty minute pile of garbledegook which Bushie seems unable to stop spewing, incapable of realizing that most people stopped buying it months ago. But that one little nugget smells like the entire milk farm pasture on a scorchy, windless day. There are really only two ways to take this kind of drivel. One is to conclude that the Prez knows otherwise, keeps repeating this falsehood to convince himself and others that its right, and he is a L-I-A-R.

The other scenario is that his own merry band of sycophants and advisers are L-Y-I-N-G to him and he's repeating the crap.

Would you prefer malignant dishonesty or felony stupidity in your Commander in Chief? Can I have "C None of the Above?"

Oh, and for you word counters out there, 4 "killers," 31 "terror," 10 "murder," 19 "Freedoms," 4 "coalitions," One "Osama" and 3 "Hates." I didn't check for "Jack Daniels" or "Jim Beam" though.

"UNKA DICK, UNKA DICK! THERE'S SOME MEN FROM THE U.S. ATTY"S OFFICE HERE WITH SOME PAPERS FOR YOU"

"Tell 'em to go F*** themselves. I'm busy blaming Clinton for things we did."

SOMETIMES IT AIN'T FUNNY

LOST lives in a gated community, which is something of a contradiction in terms, I guess. After all, all this egalitarian talk and bam, living behind the gate, near a golf course, how much more yuppie-Publican can you get? In fact, one of LOST's best buds from College days - a GOP fiscal guy with a liberal heart - loves to close each e-mail with some reference to pretentious gated community, blah blah blah. Well, LOST didn't move here for the gate. The gate has always been kind of a farce, when all is said and done. But for some here in little Pleasantville, the gate has always been talismanic - nay, more than mere symbol, it was and still is and hallelujah evermore shall be the moat, drawbridge and dragon all welded into one hunk of chain driven sliding wrought iron. Pay no attention to those sidewalk width gaps on either side. We are inviolate. Out, damned interlopers! Away, would be squatters and posers! Oh, but you gardeners, housekeepers and babysitter nanny types, come on down!! We've got work for you.

Which brings me to the subject of this rant. Last week, the majority of our governing board, (yep, can't have a gate without a power hungry flaccid willed bunch of HOA board members and a toady property management company) actually voted to staff EXTRA SECURITY AT THE GATED ENTRANCES in this little corner of Stepfordise. What day did you say? Perhaps the anniversary of 9/11? Never know where those evil Al Qaeda's might hit, now doooya? Might be going after planned development common areas? Nope, not the day. Election day maybe? Nope, guess again. The wizened old majority of halfwits and nitwits actually discussed and voted upon protecting the neighborhood from vicious outsiders and their awful offspring who might otherwise come in her on Halloween night. None of the majority who voted for this raising of the neighborhood terror alert to Orange Black and Red had any evidence of a link between outsider visits to the 'hood on Halloween and increased mayhem or mischief of any kind. Also, understand something. This little 'hood has been frequented for years by outsiders coming to trick or treat in a "nice" neighborhood. It ain't about the Anglos, folks. The Nobel Laureates weren't talking about keeping Dr. Friendly and his brood of nine lily white issue outta here. They're talking about the li'l Brown ones. Yep. They sure don't want anybody standing in their way when it comes to getting their $20 a week gardener, or their $6 an hour backyard day laborers or their $50 a week cleaning lady, yesirree. But Doggone it if any of them aforementioned folks wants to bring their kid or their kids friend in here to score a nickels worth of candy x 100. Foul! Cry havoc and unlease the Dogs of Bigotry. Sickeningly sad, really. And one of the more vocal proponents of this clampdown smackdown is a fellow church-going member of my cradle Faith. I've been meaning to ask him where does Jesus say that you should love your neighbor as yourself - unless he doesn't look like you? As I recall, the Good Samaritan parable follows that little bombshell courtesy of the Carpenter, but like so much these days, the religious stuff is put on when it suits some folks, and tossed behind the old suitcase in the closet when it doesn't.

See, I told you. Some things just ain't funny.

THE REAL ANDY ROONEY JUST STOOD UP



When Lost was a kid, younger than my own right now, a popular game show was called "To Tell the Truth." Contrary to what you might think, it did not involve politician contestants, bureaucrats and strategically used cattle prods. There was a "celebrity panel" of people who, with the benefit of hindsight, owed most of their celebrity to being a panelist on the show (Kitty Carlisle? Orson Bean?) . Anyway, the celebrity panel would ask questions of three people, all of whom claimed to be the same person, and out of those question and answer sessions, the celebs would have to guess which one was for real. The defining moment of each episode came when the host (Bud Collier? Bill Cullen?) would say "Will the Real blankety blank PLEASE STAND UP?"

Which brings me to e-mail Several times a week, many well meaning friends pass on spam type messages, purporting to be from various celebrities. Sometimes they come with cutesy drawings of the individual personality, like the one last week I received which had a caricature of Robin Williams at the top of it. As you may know or might have guessed, the body of the message purports to be "Robin WIlliams" on how to solve a group of international issues, or local political issues. The vast majority of these instances involve words never uttered by the particular celebrities, and frequently the messages express sentiments which no one has ever heard the celebrities utter in public, because they don't think that particular way. Every one of these that I have read over the years have tried to make out the celebrity in question into something of a closet uber-conservative, often times a bigot to boot. Times like these I make a short trip over the urban legends reference pages, like this one and check it out, then I'll send a quick e-note to my well-meaning friend. Still, the emails keep coming.

To make a short story long, last night Andy Rooney did actually say some things about international relations. Some very important things. If you didn't hear them first hand, you can go to CBS News and read them, or even find a video. It is worth watching. It is worth reading, over and again. For those who cannot navigate or choose not to, here's what Andy Rooney had to say.


"I'm not really clear how much a billion dollars is but the United States — our United States — is spending $5.6 billion a month fighting this war in Iraq that we never should have gotten into.

We still have 139,000 soldiers in Iraq today.

Almost 2,000 Americans have died there. For what?

Now we have the hurricanes to pay for. One way our government pays for a lot of things is by borrowing from countries like China.

Another way the government is planning to pay for the war and the hurricane damage is by cutting spending for things like Medicare prescriptions, highway construction, farm payments, AMTRAK, National Public Radio and loans to graduate students. Do these sound like the things you'd like to cut back on to pay for Iraq?

I'll tell you where we ought to start saving: on our bloated military establishment.

We're paying for weapons we'll never use.

No other Country spends the kind of money we spend on our military. Last year Japan spent $42 billion. Italy spent $28 billion, Russia spent only $19 billion. The United States spent $455 billion.

We have 8,000 tanks for example. One Abrams tank costs 150 times as much as a Ford station wagon.

We have more than 10,000 nuclear weapons — enough to destroy all of mankind.

We're spending $200 million a year on bullets alone. That's a lot of target practice. We have 1,155,000 enlisted men and women and 225,000 officers. One officer to tell every five enlisted soldier what to do. We have 40,000 colonels alone and 870 generals.

We had a great commander in WWII, Dwight Eisenhower. He became President and on leaving the White House in 1961, he said this: “We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. …"

Well, Ike was right. That's just what’s happened."

God Bless you,Andy Rooney. No one can ever joke about you needing a cattle prod To Tell the Truth.

SO VERY GLAD I STAYED HOME, BUT SO VERY GLAD I LISTENED




No, it wasn't pretty.
The defense didn't defend, until the last possible moment.
The offense took most of the night off.
So did team discipline (nearly a dozen stupid penalties - then again, is there such thing as a 'smart penalty?')

But in the end, the Bruins beat the hungry Dawgs, 24-21. The latter gets the moral victory of staying with a ranked team down the stretch and giving them a very bad scare. Yep, my friend CAMOON, they're still not good, but they're getting better. Another season of good recruiting by Willingham and you'll once again have a contender on your hands.

Oh, and thanks for the choke job Sun Devils. It was almost a terrific weekend.