CHANNELING JEFF FOXWORTHY

You might be a right wingnut pundit if:

1. Your posting contains at least 3 typos of any kind.
2. You won't add the "ic" onto "Democrat," when you mention the party.
3. You use "Cheney" and "statesman" in the same sentence,
4. You mention "Victory" and "Iraq" in the same sentence.
5. The presence of the word "islamofascism" or some variation thereof.
6. You use "O'Reilly" and "astute analysis" in the same sentence
7. Any defense of Bush foreign policy includes "we've not been attacked again," as if the first one were a freebie or do-over.
8. The presence of "Cut and Run" more than once.
9. You're priming the "War on Christmas" pump again.
10. "Clinton was responsible" features prominently.

PLEASE BOARD THE COMET SPACESHIP NOW!

Boldly going where no one in their right mind has gone before . . .



But don't forget to take Cheney with you when you go. (h/t "Huffington Post")

FOR JEFF, CLIFF and COACH STEVE




"Fight for California"

Our sturdy Golden Bear is watching from the sky
Looks down upon our colors fair
And guards us from his lair
Our banner Gold and Blue
The symbol on it too
Means Fight! for California
For California through and through.
Stalwart girded for the fray
Will strive for victory
Their all at Mater's feet will lay
That brain and brawn will win the day.
Our mighty sons and true
Will strive for us anew
And Fight! for California
For California through and through..

BEAT THESE $C BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

BAD WEEK TO BE A BRUIN

You've seen a snippet of the story, perhaps. A confrontation with a student of Middle Eastern Appearance in a campus library, shouting, then tasing, more shouting, then tasing, more shouting then tasing. LOST watched the tape, made with a cell phone-cam in a building formerly recognizable as Powell Library. LOST's memories of that place were a bit more dingy, pre-seismic retrofit, back in the day when the stacks were a dull green metal, and all of the entrances to the building were open and accessible. Pre 1984 (Olympics, that is), when the big push toward heightened security was made. Back in the day when a few street people called UCLA home like LOST did. LOST never saw any of those street people treated as barbarically as the student (LOST won't even try to spell the man's name) was on Tuesday night. Because it was a dear place, and because LOST knows the next step, now that the student has Yagmanned up, is for the UC to write a big check and create the next litigation millionaire, LOST can see some of the points made on he other side. Okay, two: First, on watching the tape, it seems possible that the student in question is embellishing a bit, as though he is channelling his inner Gitmo before being tasered, during and thereafter. His medical charts and follow up should address that issue quite nicely. Secondly, unless the involved UCPD personnel have other prior instances of such "dirt" in their files, let's not slam the UC too hard for this one.

There is little doubt that the cops in question overreacted in this instance, and nowhere is that more clear than in the threat to taser student witnesses asking for their badge numbers and ID's. And its pathetic and disgusting that the Daily Bruin would publish an op - ed piece - written by a Bruin Republican wiener named David Lazar - cautioning against rushes to judgment which contains the veiled assertion that thou shalt yield to authority at all times. Mr. Lazar's piece also solicits favorite "Rodney King jokes" as a means of demonstrating his jocularity. David Lazar, meet Craig Peyer. Bring your blonde wig and your VW beetle. If LOST were tased every time he forget to bring something, or forgot where something was, he'd have been taser-cued to well doneness years ago. Get a grip, those of you trying to defend this disgusting exercise in overlordism.

NEW WEEK, MORE CRAP
Snowjob, on Carl Levin's proposed phased-withdrawal-and-redeployment out of Iraq: "It's a caricature of a plan, because it doesn't have any meat and bones on it"

Hmmm, which means that "Stay the Course," "Fighting them over there so we don't fight 'em here," "Adapt and Win," and "Stand down when they stand up" are the Plan equivalent of these guys.



Special recognition for the first person who can correctly identify all four in the picture

SUNDAY STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Pretty boring week, nothing really happened, right? . . . Well, the Dems are back in control of the Legislative branch - or will be in January. Meantime, the Bush Cheney clearance sale has started, as they try to toss some cronies under the bus and slam a few heart's desires through the outgoing Senate. How else does one explain the insipid attempt to get Crazy Bolton re-upped as U.N. ambassador. Considering that the Prez couldn't get this nutcase approved by a solidly Republican Senate, he's really stretching to think that it's likely to happen now . . . meanwhile, good riddance Rummy, just one week after we were sold the story that the Prez was pleased with Rummy and Cheney and that both were staying on til the end. Hmm, when can we expect the Dick to be tossed under the bus . . . speaking of Cheney, has anyone noticed that incoming House Speaker Pelosi has only been saying that Impeachment of the President is off the table? Between Bush's endorsement flip flop on his evil twin, and the implication of the Pelosi statement, the DICK must be revisiting the wisdom of telling Senator Leahy (expected to become Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee) to go "F***" himself on the Senate floor a couple of years back. Then again, that may be a little too close to actual remorse to expect that from a soulless, malignant b*st*rd like Cheney . . . in other news, the Bruins broke their 4 game losing streak, besting Oregon State in a game devoid of any thrills . . . were the Beavers drugged, and if so, is there enough left for the Trojans next month? The best news is that LOST'S kid's Pop Warner team ended the season with their first win, and gave the gaggle of young gridders something to cheer about, and something to look forward to next year.

SERIOUSLY, YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

And LOST'S more mature readers thought this dream team had already gone away. From Today's Los Angeles Times:

But the leads held by their Democratic challengers were large enough to prompt news organizations and election experts to declare the prospects of Burns and Allen retaining their seats all but nonexistent. Their defeats would mean the GOP lost six Senate seats Tuesday.

SAY GOODNIGHT, MACACA!!!

SCAVENGING THE REMNANTS OF DIGNITY

Yes, resist that temptation to try and stuff James Carville and his equally creepy spouse of convenience back into your box of Halloween decorations, and shout out, "Huzzah!" Not for the winners, or the sleaziest of the losers now slinking out of town - no wait, over to "K" Street where the "Help Wanted" signs are up for the "Holiday Sliming season," nope, not for which measure that passed or failed or what message was sent to whom concerning what issue. Nor even for the loudmouths of AM radio, desperately grasping for a talking point with traction (like the Dems won without saying what they stand for, or they only won because they've gone Conservative or other assorted Merde)Shout out for the respite from idiotic sound-byte commercials trying to dumb down people, and explain complex multi page ballot measures with a catch phrase. No more reflexive ear cringes from those radio words "The following is a paid political announcement!" AIEEEEGHH! It even sparks nausea to write it. And don't get LOST even started on "I'm Slick Pantywaist, and I approve this message." How come nobody ever asked me if I approved? Of course they're afraid of the answer - HELL NO!


All those damn ads are gone, gone, gone until probably January of 2008, when they'll start trying to tell us how caring and charismatic Hillary is, or how prinicipled and integrity laden is Saint McCain. Why not tell me that Marlboros will make the poorly dimensioned parts of me grow, and those that I want smaller to shrink - - its on the same level of veracity, now, isn't it?

But enough about returning the airwaves to the commercials we really love, like the ones for Tampax and Prepration H. Lets talk about the election. It looks an awful lot like the classic tale of "Be Careful what you ask for, 'cause you just might get it." Are Messers Schumer and Emmanuel and Dean going to wake up some morning this month and do a McCauley Culkin face in the mirror and go "OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" when they realize that, yes they won, and now they got to pick up all the crap left behind by the six year long toga Party that was the Republican domination of the Congress? The war in Iraq is a clusterf--- - oops, can't say that, 'cause Mom still reads this from time to time; the national debt has grown bigger than Bill Bennett after a Vegas poker and porker fest, the rivers are a mercurial mess, the car companies are nearing bankruptcy - along with the airlines, the Chinese hold more of our markers, the Gulf Coast is still in disrepair, the ports are still unpredicted, the borders are still porous as hell, Osama is still alive, the Afghan Poppy crop is unprecedented, and for Heaven's sake, Dick Cheney still is one drunken mountain bike ride away from killing us all in the name of Halliburton's bottom line. Who'd want this job, and are they up to the task?

The rubber stamp days are over. The war has to end, and soon. There'll be no third wingnut Justice to join Scalito and Peppermint Patty. We're finally in position to find out what we already believe - that Ken Lay chaired the secret Energy Task force, and taught DIck and Dub some of his favorite accounting tactics for use with the war budgeting. Something will be done to bring sensible security to the ports and borders, and yes maybe even to address illegal immigration (Holy grail, boys and girls, get something done with this one and steal the last "issue" these scandalous bastards have to whine about). Let No Child Left Behind run away, let the richest tax cuts die, or Kevork them early, same with the Estate (no, not the Death tax, only the richest dead ever pay it). Oh and time to issue a Marshall Plan style edict - get America to the petrochemical methadone clinic and treat our oil addiction effectively, once and for all. And after the first hundred days are done, come back for some more ideas. LOST will be waiting, folks.

GET THE HELL OUT AND VOTE!!


Tuesday is another chance to be heard. This is a chance to put down your Cheese Sandwich tendencies (both D and R) and vote your party. Drop that. Put it aside, at least at the Federal Level. If you think Iraq is going swimmingly well, If you like "Full Speed Ahead" in Iraq the way we're already going. if you like the fact that China now makes most of our consumer products and is also the largest international holder of U.S. debt securities, if you like people who decry abortion but do nothing about it, if you like talking about homeland security, but the fact that the ports and borders are still left unscrutinized, if you like the response to Hurricane Katrina, if you think that Medicare Part D prescription coverage is easy to follow, and that it was a good idea to prohibit Canadian purchases and negotiations with Big Pharma, if you think that DeLay, Abramoff, Cunningham, Ney, Foley, Ted Haggard, George Allen, and Dennis Hastert are all just ethical hiccups, if you think that global warming is a myth, if you think that the disappearance of middle class jobs and housing affordability are great trends for the country, if you think that health care is just a luxury, one that employers have no reason to provide, if you think that the non-colllege educated should have to hold down two jobs just to afford a place to live and cover their nut, if you think the public schools should all be shuttered, if you think that its perfectly normal and acceptable that the Vice President of the United States should earn millions of dollars in stock options from a private contractor with the Government while in office, if you think that abortion is wrong but that overcreation of fertilized eggs for in vitro fertilization is hunky dory, even when those extra eggs are destroyed, if you think that our energy crisis is solvable by drilling in protected Alaskan wilderness, if you believe that voting without a verifiable ballot, on software unauditable by the Federal government, then vote Republican

If you want things to change, vote for change. For Heaven's sake.