A VISIT FROM SAINT FITZ-OLIS
Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

(thanks to Americablog and Atrios for the photoshop inspiration!)



‘Twas the Night before Fitzmas
and at the White House
All the staffers were shredding
Down to the last louse

The low-levels cowered
By the hallway and stared
And they wondered aloud
Would the Marshalls come there?

And Karl he shuddered
Ol’ Scooter to boot
As each contemplated
an orange jumpsuit

When out in the Pressroom
There arose such a clatter
While Scotty just stammered
Not quelling the laughter

For there was no Guckert
No Judy, no Brit
To bail out poor Scotty
Who cried out “oh Sh*t”

When what
to all wondering eyes did appear
But a dogged attorney
Too temperate for beer

He was wearing blue pinstripes
And a plain boring tie
But he walked resolutely
With a gleam in his eye.

A cadre of deputies
Mimicked his gait
And he called out to each
To deliver a fate

“now Nelson, get Libby”
and “Whitman grab Rove”
“But leave for me Cheney,’
having finished his probe.


He spoke no more words
But went straight to his work
And handcuffed the trio,
Then turned toward Mr. Smirk

And pointing a finger
In George’s direction
He said “I’ll be back here for you
By the midterm elections”

And I heard him exclaim
As the vans drove out of sight
“Good Government for all
was reborn here tonight.”