WHY NOT CALL IT “PRESS THE MEAT”

Week after week, General Electric’s Sunday anchor show continues its devolution into a shell of its once and former self; the one time place where the exalted could be humbled and the humble could be exalted has of late become the TV show whose writers went on strike and never came back. How else does one explain the perpetually available seat for the chock-fulla bile Misses Carville and her very own married of convenience dueling banjos boy? Or the obsequious double standard with which punkinhaid Timmeh bashes Democratic politicians with their apparent double speak, while practically fawning and fluffing all that the Right has to offer? Yo, Timmeh, you’re not on Fox yet.

So it dawned on LOST that perhaps the show that won’t die needs a makeover, and what better way to start than with a simple name change? “Press the Meat” – as its deli evocative name implies, will continue to feature what appears to be fresh, pink delights for the mind. Its just that, upon sufficient consideration the viewer will recognize that the content has been boiled down, rendered, packed with fillers and semi-toxic preservatives, guaranteed to leave you thirsting for something more at the end of each less than satisfying episode. And Timmeh can stow the suits, in favor of a white smock and paper Sailor hat, to boot. This could be herald of the return of truth in broadcasting – not the integrity rich days of Murrow, or even Cronkite, but at least as far back as the Family hour, where everyone knew exactly what to expect, instead of anticipating a really hard hitting, put-em-on-the-spot-to explain-themselves. That is just sooooo pre Gulf War 1, now, isn’t it?