JOE ISUZU, NEITHER GONE, NOR FORGOTTEN


Yes, it was with some bittersweetness that LOST read that Isuzu was pulling up stakes and leaving the U.S. consumer auto/truck market. The article of course took advantage of the circumstances and mentioned the most notorious non-political spokesperson of last thirty years, Joe Isuzu, as if he was gone and our nation had turned it lowly eyes to him.

Except that this is political season once again. That magical time that used to be confined to June and November is now bled into the Southern California winter as well. And Joe is really just morphed into a thousand different political spokes-icons. How, you say? Well, consider the ballot propositions. In this State, the ballot measure process has become akin to doing ones taxes. There’s a ton of paper that comes in the mail – a sample ballot, an election pamphlet containing the “text of the proposed law” and then well over a dozen postcards from this cadre of believers or that, all screaming at you in living color which ones need “NO,” which ones need “YES,” and the personal new favorite, which initiatives need a “NO” vote to get us what we really want to happen.

So you’re a voter, better than average income and intelligence, and you open the pamphlet. The “text” of the law is in about 5 point type. Incapable of being seen by the middle aged naked eye without a doubt. And its in three columns. And its covering 5 or 6 pages of the pamphlet. The legislature couldn’t get this done on their own. With a staff of full time help. With a crew of helpful lobbyists, who are just aching to buy the requisite amount of beverages necessary to get your Assemblyman primed to understand where he should be and how he should vote. Now its your problem and mine, and oops! Fresh out of staff at home. What’s a voter to do? Simple. Turn on the TV, where, wedged in between at 24 7 365 coverage of everything you always wanted to know about Britney Lohan you’ll find that most helpful of convincers, the 30 second TV spot. This year, we find compelling lists of iconic elements of society both favor and oppose large scale increases in slot machines for 4 indian tribes. So who do you trust?

Who, for that matter, does America trust? Simple. Firemen. For the last decade or so, when it has come to ballot initiatives in California, the most coveted constituent element of the fight on a ballot proposition has been the firefighters. Yep, they do great work putting out fires. They live disjointed lives, just for us, spending ten or more 24hour days away from home and in the firehouse, waiting for that next catastrophe to occur. But now they’re our all-knowing, wise and non-partisan oracles of how to vote. Move over League of Women Voters – or at least admit your personal conflicts and move on. You can’t weigh in on this gambling thing – most of you are already sitting on a stool in front of your favorite “Blazing 7’s “ machine, so we can’t ask you. But why firemen already? Has everybody forgotten what happened the last time we mixed public safety officers and Indian leaders on the same media stage? Depressing. At least bring Joe back for real, and let him handle all of the election ads from now on. At least we could smile while he fed us some of this bullshit, couldn’t we?