OH GOOD LORD, WHAT NEXT?

Both sides of the political spectrum have those elements . . .groups that are like the relative you know you have to invite to the party, but always stays too long and says too much, and adds little to the event. For the righties, their uglies have really been stomping it up since the inauguration, fanned by the inflammatory rhetoric of AM radio bastards, they've been swept into a torrent of rage over fears that the Kenyan Muslim from Chicago is coming to take their precious guns away, so they're using them on long hated targets. It is unspeakably disgusting.

However the lefties are not without their pariahs - and while their offenses may pale in comparison to the neo-nazi and anti-abortion doctor killers of the right, their rhetoric is more than a tad embarrassing. LOST speaks of course, of PETA, the acronym standing for "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals."

On its face, not such a big deal. Humans should not subject pets to wanton, destructive behaviors. Animal testing should be humane, and for a definable, worthwhile scientific purpose. All good, all true, end of discussion, right?

Not quite.

According to this morning's L.A. Times> PETA is speaking out in the hope of ending a practice which in its fevered collective consciousness is horrifying. The targets of PETA's profound condemnation are the fish flingers of Seattle's famed Pike Place Market. A sample:

PETA Director Sarah King said the flying fish demonstration represents callous disregard for the suffering the creatures undergo before they come to the table.

"There is more than enough scientific evidence to prove that fish feel pain and that they do not die well at the hands of the fishing industry," she said, citing numerous studies that show fish have intelligence as well as sophisticated social structures.

Can't wait for their celeb-studded CD release, featuring such hits as "My Martyred Mackerel" and "King Crab Nation." For Pete's sake, the fish are dead. If PETA wanted some credibility on the issue, they'd sidle up next to the Greenpeace folks, and raise more awareness about ocean water dumping of . . . well, everything. Personnifying fish, trying to equate their "feelings" with human sensations tracks on the wrong side of sane - perhaps far enough away to claim its own ZIP Code.