THE HOLIDAYS APPROACHETH

How can you tell? Your wallet's lighter - full of receipts, not cash. The first really sucky cold has settled in behind your nose, under your eyes, and is dripping into your throat and lungs. The air outside in So Cal is unbelievably frigid - it burns to breathe in before dawn. We're buried in "After Christmas Sale" circulars. The stores are a jammed madhouse, and the parking lots are being patrolled by the driving equivalent of the 1973 Philadelphia Flyers. Smack smack SMACK. The stock market has peaked, and is starting downward again. Media outlets are still not covering important stories, but we get a respite from Celebrity genitalia coverage - replaced by "Best of 2006" lists. The first of a record 73 Bowl games gets underway next week - you know there's too many when the qualifying event is not the number of victories but the number of pulse rates on your roster. Anything stationary in your neighborhood has a strand of mini lights wrapped around it. You're surrounded by candy and cookies - give up and go quietly into insulin shock. More of this later.

LOST knows he's missed things like the 26th anniversary of Lennon's murder, Pearl Harbor Day, a big Bruin Basketball win on Saturday, the continued unravelling of Incurious George, President Nimrod, the embarrasing lie-a-second ravings of Former Fox Shill Tony Snow, the ISG report that Dubya is already lining a birdcage with, and the palpable growing discontent in this country for the fact that our country is stuck in Neutral in Baghdad. But hey, its Christmas - things to buy, bake and build.