WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Yes, the floor of the RNC this evening and its a sea of red; hey, wait a minute, the seats are Red? Where's all the people gone? Are they all canvassing for the Commander in Chief of that greatest fighting force north of the Canadian border, the Alaskan National Guard (Screw YOU, Dudley Do-right and the horse you rode in on)? Did they all have a synchronus urge to have a gang toidy with Larry "I am NOT gay" Craig at the airport mens' room? Were they out baby shower shopping for Bristol (WTF kinda name is that anyway? If there had been a "Bristol" Kerry and/or a "Trig" Gore the Hanitwits of the AM dial would still be talking about it)? Could they simply not bear seeing their beloved Fred Thompson deliver another down home hatchet job speech of one liners, yet who himself was too lazy to actually run much of a campaign. By the way, Fred, aren't you from Tennessee? How 'bout singing a little "Rocky Top" today for ol' blue and gold LOST, eh? Maybe it was that guttural sound that both Pickles and Fred-o kept making after delivering each line. You know that noise - unmistakably similar to the gagging sound made my someone desperately trying to stifle the gag reflex.

Shambles, people. This bunch is in shambles, and the debates haven't even started. Maverick my left glute.